(Source: christopher-reeve)
Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog
Every time you go, you take a part of me, a part of me with you.
(Source: proceedwithspeed, via power-of-money)
(via power-of-money)
(Source: italianluxury, via power-of-money)
National Service
has finally arrived. It is staring right down at my face. It is 2am.
I remember very lucidly 5 months ago, I thought to myself: 5 months is a fucking long time to be spend doing nothing. Well not exactly nothing, but a prolonged period without school and stuff did seem queer, though a good form of queer.
In this 5 months, I’ve been to Shanghai (right after As and before prom), Phuket, done the SAT2s, learnt driving (test right after POP), Shanghai/Jeju, and more importantly gained a semblance of my former self, physically and mentally, and not least be 90% complete with my UK applications.
I’m however at a cusp of a new period. I’ve always felt a kind of alienation with NS, it’s a real prospect, but a distant one. But we all grow up anyway. People get together, fall or grow apart. Some grow up, some stay the same. But the teen-youngadulthood period is always fraught with turbulences - somewhat like a premature quarter-life crisis. Oh, first world problems.
What do we want out of life anyway? What do I want? Will I ever be satisfied? Am I setting the bar too high? Is it a good or bad thing?
I recently got into a uni/course, and while I wouldn’t say that anyone will die for a place there, it is nevertheless a place that many would desire. But I felt sad, because I wasn’t even in the DDP, nor was I invited for the scholarship interview. A part of me wants to convince myself that it was probably an oversight (since I roughly have the same grades as those that were invited anyway), but a part of me somehow struggles to concede the possibility that I may lack the je ne sais quoi.
I had chilli crab for dinner today, at one of the older heartland neighbourhoods. While waiting, my dad was pensive when he looked up at the HDBs. He told me his motivation was sourced from the desire to get out of this place - the place of mediocrity and frivolity. He said, ‘I only have one life. I have to succeed.’ Maybe it is easy for me to say, but inside me, I questioned his judgement. Surely life there isn’t that bad? Just because the Singaporean society is premised on meritocracy and built on capitalist foundations and desires doesn’t mean that we have to be measured by society’s parameters? Research shows that one is the most happy when he has positive human relationships around him. Not material wants…
Yet, I cannot help but lust for those wants. The very wants that fuelled my dad. Yet I fear that, given my ideal lifestyle, I am unable to sustain it because I lack the intrinsic drive, as I have not been poverty-stricken before.
This is just one of the many fears that plague me everyday. Somehow a part of me wants to prove myself. But for what?
But for now, I’ll push, and while I wait to find the reason why.
can’t wait to grow up sometimes…fucking hate this period of transition
In Singapore, top law graduates from the National University of Singapore, Singapore Management University, and reputable foreign universities, usually only those obtaining first class honours or equivalent, are invited to join theSupreme Court as Justices’ Law Clerks. The Supreme Court comprises the High Court and the Court of Appeal, which is the final court of appeal in Singapore. Upon accepting appointment, Justices’ Law Clerks are appointed for a term of one and a half years, with a possible 6 month extension. During their term, the law clerks are given the opportunity to work with both the judges of the High Court as well as the Judges of the Appeal and the Chief Justice. After their term, the law clerks have the option of joining the permanent establishment of the Singapore Legal Service. If they take up this option, they will be posted to other branches of the Singapore Legal Service, for example as Deputy Public Prosecutors at the Attorney’s General Chambers or as Assistant Registrars in the Supreme Court Registry. Many Justices’ Law Clerks choose to join private firms after their stint (and several have recently achieved the title of Senior Counsel), while others have chosen a path in academia.
